#2 Feeling Pain through Poetry (Getting to know a girl named Carrie)

I usually write poetry when I'm really upset about a subject that is not yet confrontable. They aren't happy go lucky...but it's what I do to get my thoughts out. Here are some poems I've written, they range from 1-4 years old

The Judgement

why do you judge me?

what is it for?

once vulnerably standing

now face to the floor

am I better here?

I felt better out there

I've locked my soul in this little dark place

so your blinding light won't bury me in shame

why should I have shame because of you

deal with your own convictions

it's not me, it's you

with my luck you'll read this a moment too late

you've already judged the "food on my plate"

something so little you've made so huge

and now you're wondering

"Oh what do I do"

I'm not apologizing for who I am

where I come from

or my life plan

although it may be different from yours

we're all Christs children of whom he adores

so take a minute

step down from that horse

you're too high up to steady the coarse

and this

oh this

it's what I do to deal

with you and you and you

and all the pain I feel

so here's a thought

look at you not me

because I'm not perfect

and don't claim to be

I know you just need something to busy your life

to forget YOUR problems

to forget YOUR life

but why don't you stop knocking on my door

because in the end YOU"LL be on the floor

how sad it must be to live your life

judging me in The Body of Christ

He Drinks

He drinks...he drinks...and then he drinks again

the glass he holds on to his only lasting friend

his drinking buddies are good for one thing

just another drink

but when the alcohol runs out, they're off the scene

silently we sit by biting our tongues

wanting so much to say something, but nothing comes

we want to spend time with you, we miss our friend

but he won't know until his heart mends

one day he'll look back and see all he missed

but until then, he takes another sip

the pain is too real, so he'll just hide

behind a beer glass that's fogged from inside

it slowly poisons him, but he thinks it's fun

playing roulette with this loaded gun

what will happen, what might it be?

as this feeling inside he tries to flee

what is the fate that might land him one day?

maybe sooner than later...I dare not say

then we'll be left with the pain in our hearts

knowing we would have said something, if we were smart

so I know he's out there

and we're stuck in here

wishing he knew the love that we fear

Those who live by the sword

An attack on our Country, has started a war

thousands have died, what was it for?

sitting in an office, doing their work

while men out to kill, wait in the lurk

Heroes went out, to fight for broken lives

they died in this battle, leaving husbands and wives

children who are missing a parent or two

parents missing children, who've become forever blue

and who is this enemy we fight with such pride?

who makes his videos and never ceases to hide

bravely these men fight, to protect where we sit

day in, day out fighting, never able to quite

the thousands of lives effected that day

have continued to be, 10 years as we pray

10 years is long, some forget why WE don't hide

comfortable in their home, thinking, "Oh, it's just pride"

for every action there must be a consequence

so to me what happened makes perfect sense

you see, we're in a war which was started by him

and like many, he has died, my attitude's not grim

I won't apologize for my feeling of gratitude

for the men who defended our Country, the red, white and blue

see to me it's not a question of love and grace

he got what he put out, an end to this chase

maybe our true feelings really do come out in war

like who believes are rights and freedoms are worth fighting for

so please keep in mind as you sit in the house you chose

that this morning you peered into your closet and picked out your clothes

remember on the way to your job today

you picked the radio station or music to play

watching the television channels you enjoy

with the children you decided to have, that bring you such joy

spouting off what you think about our President

and criticizing how our military takes action and time is spent

remember that how you got that freedom of speech

is from our military fighting to keep freedom for each.