#2 Feeling Pain through Poetry (Getting to know a girl named Carrie)

I usually write poetry when I'm really upset about a subject that is not yet confrontable. They aren't happy go lucky...but it's what I do to get my thoughts out. Here are some poems I've written, they range from 1-4 years old
The Judgement
why do you judge me?
what is it for?
once vulnerably standing
now face to the floor
am I better here?
I felt better out there
I've locked my soul in this little dark place
so your blinding light won't bury me in shame
why should I have shame because of you
deal with your own convictions
it's not me, it's you
with my luck you'll read this a moment too late
you've already judged the "food on my plate"
something so little you've made so huge
and now you're wondering
"Oh what do I do"
I'm not apologizing for who I am
where I come from
or my life plan
although it may be different from yours
we're all Christs children of whom he adores
so take a minute
step down from that horse
you're too high up to steady the coarse
and this
oh this
it's what I do to deal
with you and you and you
and all the pain I feel
so here's a thought
look at you not me
because I'm not perfect
and don't claim to be
I know you just need something to busy your life
to forget YOUR problems
to forget YOUR life
but why don't you stop knocking on my door
because in the end YOU"LL be on the floor
how sad it must be to live your life
judging me in The Body of Christ
He Drinks
He drinks...he drinks...and then he drinks again
the glass he holds on to his only lasting friend
his drinking buddies are good for one thing
just another drink
but when the alcohol runs out, they're off the scene
silently we sit by biting our tongues
wanting so much to say something, but nothing comes
we want to spend time with you, we miss our friend
but he won't know until his heart mends
one day he'll look back and see all he missed
but until then, he takes another sip
the pain is too real, so he'll just hide
behind a beer glass that's fogged from inside
it slowly poisons him, but he thinks it's fun
playing roulette with this loaded gun
what will happen, what might it be?
as this feeling inside he tries to flee
what is the fate that might land him one day?
maybe sooner than later...I dare not say
then we'll be left with the pain in our hearts
knowing we would have said something, if we were smart
so I know he's out there
and we're stuck in here
wishing he knew the love that we fear
Those who live by the sword
An attack on our Country, has started a war
thousands have died, what was it for?
sitting in an office, doing their work
while men out to kill, wait in the lurk
Heroes went out, to fight for broken lives
they died in this battle, leaving husbands and wives
children who are missing a parent or two
parents missing children, who've become forever blue
and who is this enemy we fight with such pride?
who makes his videos and never ceases to hide
bravely these men fight, to protect where we sit
day in, day out fighting, never able to quite
the thousands of lives effected that day
have continued to be, 10 years as we pray
10 years is long, some forget why WE don't hide
comfortable in their home, thinking, "Oh, it's just pride"
for every action there must be a consequence
so to me what happened makes perfect sense
you see, we're in a war which was started by him
and like many, he has died, my attitude's not grim
I won't apologize for my feeling of gratitude
for the men who defended our Country, the red, white and blue
see to me it's not a question of love and grace
he got what he put out, an end to this chase
maybe our true feelings really do come out in war
like who believes are rights and freedoms are worth fighting for
so please keep in mind as you sit in the house you chose
that this morning you peered into your closet and picked out your clothes
remember on the way to your job today
you picked the radio station or music to play
watching the television channels you enjoy
with the children you decided to have, that bring you such joy
spouting off what you think about our President
and criticizing how our military takes action and time is spent
remember that how you got that freedom of speech
is from our military fighting to keep freedom for each.

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